home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
Software Vault: The Gold Collection
/
Software Vault - The Gold Collection (American Databankers) (1993).ISO
/
cdr11
/
132ibm.zip
/
ISSUE132
Wrap
Text File
|
1993-05-31
|
152KB
|
1,897 lines
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█ ISSUE #132 █▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄ ██ │
│█▄ ▀██████████████████ █ May 31st █▄ ▀▀██████████████▄ ▀▄ ██ │
│ █▄ ███ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ████ █ 1993 ▀█▄ ███ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▀███▄ ▀▄ ██ │
│───█ ███ █───────█ ███ █─────────────────────█ ███ █─────█ ▀████ █────██────│
│ █ ███ █ █ ██ █ (c)1993 E.P.C. █ ███ █ █ ▀███ █ ██ │
│ █ ███ █ █ █ █ All Rights Reserved █ ███ █ █ ███ █ ██ │
│───█ ███ █─────────█▄▄▄█─────────────────────█ ███ █───────█ ███ █──────────│
│ █ ███ █ ▄▄▄▄ █ ███ █ ▄▀ ███ █ ██████ │
│ █ ███ █ █ ▄ █ ▄███▄ ▄███▄ ▄███▄ ██ ██ █ ███ █ ▄▀ ████ █ ██ │
│ █ ███ █▄█ ██ █ █▌ ▐█ █▌ ▐█ █▌ ▐█ ██ ██▀ █ ███ █▄▄▄▄▄▀ █████ █ ██ │
│ █ ███▄▄▄▄███ █ ████▀ ████▀ ████▀ ██▄█▀ █ ███▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄████▀ ▄▀ ██ │
│ █ ██████████ █ ██ ██ ██ ██▀█▄ █ ███████████████ █ ██ │
│ █ ███▀▀▀▀███ █ ██▄▄█ ██▄▄█ ██▄▄█ ██ ██▄ █ ███ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▀███ ▀▄ ██ │
│ █ ███ █▀█ ██ █ ▀█▀ ▀█▀ ▀█▀ ██ ██ █ ███ █ █ ▀███▄ █ │
│ █ ███ █ █ ▀ █ █ ███ █ █ ▀███ █ ▄█████ │
│ █ ███ █ ▀▀▀▀ █▀▀▀█ ┌──────────────┐ █ ███ █ █ ███ █ ██ │
│ █ ███ █ █ █ █ │ Brought To │ █ ███ █ █ ███ █ ██ │
│ █ ███ █ █ ██ █ │ You By: │ █ ███ █ █ ▄███ █ ▀████▄ │
│ █ ███ █ █ ███ █ │ Your SysOps │ █ ███ █ █ ▄████ █ ██ │
│ █▀ ███ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ████ █ │ & │ ▄█▀ ███ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▄███▀ ▄▀ ██ │
│█▀ ▄██████████████████ █ │ Eeeek Pub.Co.│█▀ ▄▄██████████████▀ ▄▀ █████▀ │
│█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█ └──────────────┘█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀ !! │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ This publication is protected by all U.S. & International Copyright Laws! │
│ NO Part may be changed or reproduced w/o express written permission from │
│ The Publishers! Eeeeks is FREE, BUT YOU MUST REGISTER to have it on a BBS! │
│ You may NOT upload it to any BBS on a regular basis without the express │
│ written permission of the Publishers. Eeeek BITS! is NOT PD or Shareware │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ In order to Register: Call Beyond Eternity at the # above & fill out │
│ "O" at the main menu, OR EAST COAST CALLERS MAY CALL OUR EAST-COAST │
│ DISTRIBUTOR, U.S. Datanet at (617)-868-2965. OR you may write us via │
│ US Mail, include your: BBS NAME, PHONE, APPX # OF USERS, # OF LINES, │
│ MAX BAUD, STORAGE CAPACITY, SYSOP REAL NAME, PHONE, ADDRESS, SOFTWARE │
│ RUNNING, WHERE YOU SAW & WHERE YOU'LL RETRIEVE EEEEK BITS! You May │
│ also register for Datanet Computer News (ALSO FREE) in these ways. │
│ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ═══════════════════════════════════════════════│
│ █ ┌───────────────────┐ █ Beyond Eternity BBS, Contact The Editor #5 │
│ █ │ (c)1993 │ █ (310)-371-3734 12/24/9600 or 370-9464 3/12/2400│
│ █ │Eeeek Publishing Co│ █ ═══════════════════════════════════════════════│
│ █ │ │ █ Eeeek Publishing Co │
│ █ │(Taghadossi/Black) │ █ PO Box 331 Manhattan Bch,CA 90266 │
│ █ │ALL RIGHTS RESERVED│ █ ═══════════════════════════════════════════════│
│ █ └───────────────────┘ █ "Keep On Eeeeking!" (Philip Fultz) │
│ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ═══════════════════════════════════════════════│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Little Known Facts...........Page 4 Metaphysical BITS!...........Page 29 │
│ Commentary Corner............Page 5 The Joker's Lair #2..........Page 39 │
│ Great One-LIners.............Page 7 Dead Right!..................Page 40 │
│ Laws Beyond Murphy...........Page 10 Maniacmania..................Page 41 │
│ The 800 Connection...........Page 11 The Unexplained..............Page 42 │
│ Be PercentageWISE............Page 12 Nightmare On 12th Street.....Page 45 │
│ Horoscopes By Manfred........Page 15 Poetry -*- Drawer II.........Page 49 │
│ The Joker's Lair #1..........Page 18 Mind Games 1993 #2...........Page 50 │
│ Poetry -*- Drawer 1..........Page 19 Men Vs Women.................Page 53 │
│ A Bedtime Story..............Page 22 WeIrD wOrLd!.................Page 55 │
│ WeIrD nEwS...................Page 23 Dimensions In The Dark...!...Page 58 │
│ Mind Games 1993 #1...........Page 24 Team Eeeek, Continued...!....Page 66 │
│ READER SURVEY - PLEASE HELP!.Page 27 The W-Eeeek-ly News..........Page 73 │
│ Quotes 'N' Notes.............Page 28 Information Page.............Page 79 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│┌────────────┐┌─────────────────────┐┌──────────────────────┐┌────────────┐ │
││ CHAT BBS! ││AVATAR ONLINE SYSTEMS││▀▀▀ WESTSIDE BBS! ▀▀▀││ TOP CITY │ │
││ A Friendly ││ (818)-969-8227 N81 ││ 60+ Phone Lines... ││ BBS │ │
││ Place In ││ Professionl Tutors ││ ASP Member! ││ SysOp: │ │
││ Cyberspace!││32 Lines, Family BBS ││SysOps: Dave 1, Walt 2││ RamSoft 1 │ │
││612-560-1770││ 2 FREE WEEKS TRIAL! ││Call: (213)-933-4050 ││612-225-1003│ │
│└────────────┘└─────────────────────┘└──────────────────────┘└────────────┘ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Little Known Facts! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ * Statistics say perfume sales soar during an economic depression. │
│ * There is one newspaper for every 130,000 Americans │
│ * The population of the earth will increase more in the next 20 years than │
│ it has in the last million years. │
│ * An opera singer can plan on his/her career lasting 25 years tops. │
│ * According to a Congressional Report 75 percent of the divorced fathers │
│ in the U.S. do not pay support for their children. │
│ * Out of every 100 kindergarten teachers 1 is a man. │
│ * Napoleon had a fear of the number 13 and never would he start a project │
│ on a Friday. │
│ * If an Aussie says 'gum nut' to you they mean "the real McCoy." │
│ * There is a secret tunnel that links Buckingham Palace to the London │
│ subway system. │
│ * Stats say more burglaries happen on Saturday night i the months of Dec., │
│ January and February. │
│ * A Red Grange in golf is a score of 77. So named because Red Grange's │
│ football jersey number was 77. │
│ * The only living creatures to wage war are men and ants. │
│ * Mankind makes up only 0.00000000000000000000013 percent of earth's liv- │
│ ing things. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Commentary Corner! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ A man in San Diego, California had the nerve to ask Mr. Clinton a question,│
│ during a "town hall meeting," that the news media has been too one-sided to│
│ ask. "Can you name, Mr. Clinton, any nation that has ever taxed themselves│
│ into prosperity?" To which Mr. Clinton said no he couldn't. The press │
│ has, since this question, a field day with the man who asked the question │
│ and his private life. From writing him up in the news paper to accusing │
│ him of not having paid his income taxes, to which the IRS says hogwash. │
│ But this type of treatment by the press is not unusual in this country when│
│ one doesn't support the press' liberal ideals. │
│ So let's look at this "tax/spending cut" bill of Mr. Clinton's. Does it │
│ really do what Mr. Clinton says? There will be, of course, higher taxes │
│ on everyone in this country if by chance it should pass the Senate. But │
│ what of the spending cuts? There are none! That's correct, there truly │
│ are no spending cuts. I know what they say, but the truth is, there are │
│ no spending cuts. This is how it works: The budget called for an increase│
│ in spending in entitlement programs, that's social security, veterans bene-│
│ fits, pensions, etc., the money planned for these programs was something │
│ like 600 billion but Mr. Clinton's bill reduces that spending from 600 │
│ billion to 550 billion dollars. There's your spending cut. That and only │
│ that. Spending on other domestic programs, pork belly spending, and │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Commentary Corner! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ foreign aid spending, is not cut one thin dime. The Congressional members │
│ are not, any more than any other time in our history, required to balance │
│ the budget. This is the big spending cut Mr. Clinton continues to mis- │
│ direct the American public into believing. But if you stop and think about│
│ this one item you will realize there will be no spending cuts coming from │
│ this administration: Remember this - at the conclusion of Mr. Clinton's │
│ four year term the national debt will be UP one trillion dollars more than │
│ what it is today. If there truly were spending cuts this would not happen.│
│ If the increased taxes were really intended to reduce the national debt │
│ the figures would go down, not up, during Clinton's term. │
│ So now, let's look at everything else Mr. Clinton has proposed since taking│
│ office. Standard income taxes, for those earning 28,000 or more a year │
│ will go up. An additional tax on FICA is intended to increase for a na- │
│ tional health program. Plus taxation on cigarettes, bringing the price up │
│ to four to seven dollars a pack will also help support this national health│
│ program. And next we have the energy tax (see W-Eeeek-ly News for specific│
│ data in your state). The increase in taxation with Mr. Clinton in office │
│ will be at the low end 14 percent increase over and above what you are pay-│
│ ing today -- the high end being some place in the 20 percent increase brac-│
│ ket. If you don't like this, write your senator and congressman, tell 'em.│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Great One-Liners │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end? │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ If all is not lost, then where is it? │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Some people have one of those days..I have one of those lives! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ TOLERANCE: Excusing mistakes made by others, TACT: Not noticing them. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ What is the use of running when we are not on the right road? │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Make the most of the best and the least of the worst. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Progress results when you mix persistence with purpose. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The real curse of sin: imagine you're on a deserted island with just one │
│ other person! │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ How much would YOU pay (or DID you pay?) for this system? │
│ --------------------------------------------------------- │
│ 386-33 SX SYSTEM: │
│ --------------------------------------------------------- │
│ │
│ Complete with... MC/Visa ACCEPTED! │
│ We'll Ship in 48 States! │
│ 4 Meg RAM (SIMMS) (Shipping Charges Extra) │
│ Teac 5.25" diskette drive ╔═══════════╗ │
│ Teac 3.50" diskette drive ║ ┌───────┐ ║ │
│ Super I/O+IDE 2/2 HDD/FDD Controller Card ║ │ 386-SX│∞║ │
│ Conner 121 MB Hard Drive ║ │ 33MHz │∞║ │
│ 1024x768 .39 SVGA monitor ║ └───────┘ ║ │
│ Trident 8900 SVGA Card w/1 MB ╚══╤═════╤══╝ │
│ Mini Tower case w/200W Power Supply ┌─────┐╒══╧═════╧══╕ │
│ 101 Enhanced Keyboard │∞∞∞∞∞││ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ │ │
│ 3 Button Mouse ┌┴─────┴┴──────────┬┴──────┐ │
│ DOS loaded │ ■■■ │ ───── │ │
│ 1 full year parts & labor warranty! │ ║║║║║║║║║║ │~~~~~~~│ │
│ └──────────────────┴───────┘ │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ IF YOU PAID MORE THAN $1050.03 You Didn't Call Eeeek BYTES! (310)-371-4260 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ How much would YOU pay (or DID you pay?) for this system? │
│ --------------------------------------------------------- │
│ 486-33 DX SYSTEM: │
│ --------------------------------------------------------- │
│ Complete with... │
│ INTEL CPU MC/Visa ACCEPTED! │
│ 256K Cache Memory We'll Ship in 48 States! │
│ 4 Meg RAM (SIMMS) (Shipping Charges Extra) │
│ Teac 5.25" diskette drive ╔═══════════╗ │
│ Teac 3.50" diskette drive ║ ┌───────┐ ║ │
│ Super I/O+IDE 2/2 HDD/FDD Controller Card ║ │ 486-DX│∞║ │
│ Conner 121 MB Hard Drive ║ │ 33MHz │∞║ │
│ 1024x768 .39 SVGA monitor ║ └───────┘ ║ │
│ Trident 8900 SVGA Card w/1 MB ╚══╤═════╤══╝ │
│ Mini Tower case w/200W Power Supply ┌─────┐╒══╧═════╧══╕ │
│ 101 Enhanced Keyboard │∞∞∞∞∞││ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ │ │
│ 3 Button Mouse ┌┴─────┴┴──────────┬┴──────┐ │
│ DOS loaded │ ■■■ │ ───── │ │
│ 1 full year parts & labor warranty! │ ║║║║║║║║║║ │~~~~~~~│ │
│ └──────────────────┴───────┘ │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ IF YOU PAID MORE THAN $1445.14 You Didn't Call Eeeek BYTES! (310)-371-4260 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Laws Beyond Murphy! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ * If you succeed the first time around it is always wise to hide your own │
│ astonishment. │
│ * Whatever you are looking for, it will be in the last place you look. │
│ * No one ever wants the car they can afford. │
│ * In a mixed box of chocolates, the piece that is left for you is the only │
│ kind you don't like. │
│ * When you are really a poker player, you will always believe you will get │
│ even in the next hand or two. │
│ * A mistake gets more news coverage than the truth. │
│ * Image is more important in politics than truth │
│ * The one piece of paper you are looking for never got filed. │
│ * If you aren't working to get better than you are working to be worse. │
│ * When not in office, everything is wrong, when in office, everything is │
│ just fine, even though change has not occurred. The song of a politician│
│ * There is no real majority, only followers. │
│ * No person can go through life without at least one lie. │
│ * Change is ultimately the hardest thing to adjust to in life. │
│ * Change is constant. │
│ * No one ever wins in a war, profits perhaps, win, never. │
│ * Hatred and creating hatred makes someone else profitable. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ The 800 Connection │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ AIDS HOTLINE 1-800-342-AIDS │
│ ALZHEIMER'S ASSOCIATION 1-800-621-0379 │
│ AMC CANCER INFORMATION 1-800-525-3777 │
│ AMERICAN COUNCIL OF THE BLIND 1-800-424-8666 │
│ CANCER INFORMATION SERVICE 1-800-4-CANCER │
│ CHILD FIND 1-800-431-5005 │
│ CIVIL RIGHTS HOTLINE 1-800-368-1019 │
│ CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION 1-800-638-CPSC │
│ FAIR HOUSING AND EQUAL OPPORTUNITY HOTLINE 1-800-424-8590 │
│ HEARING AID HELPLINE 1-800-521-5247 │
│ MISSING CHILDREN NETWORK HOTLINE 1-800-235-3535 │
│ NATIONAL CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE 1-800-422-4453 │
│ NATIONAL COCAINE HOTLINE 1-800-COC-AINE │
│ PARENTS ANONYMOUS 1-800-421-0353 │
│ RUNAWAY HOTLINE 1-800-231-6946 │
│ SMALL BUSINESS ADVISORY SERVICE HOTLINE 1-800-424-5201 │
│ TELE-CONSUMER HOTLINE 1-800-332-1124 │
│ VIETNAM VETERANS OF AMERICA 1-800-424-7275 │
│ VOLUNTEER HOTLINES 1-800-424-8580 │
│ WOMEN'S SPORTS FOUNDATION 1-800-227-3988 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Be PercentageWISE │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│What? │ % Of MEN │% Of WOMEN │
├───────────────────────────────────────────────────┼────────────┼───────────┤
│ They Think the GOOD in Marriage outweighs the BAD │ 79% │ 81% │
│ They say poor communication is #1 cause of divorce│ 59% │ 70% │
│ They favor Death Penalty for convicted Murderers │ 83% │ 75% │
│ They didn't enjoy the first time they made love │ 14% │ 59% │
│ They have no regrets about their homosexuality │ 49% │ 64% │
│ They don't want to learn anything about computers │ 29% │ 34% │
│ They were registered to vote in the 1988 election │ 65% │ 68% │
│ They actually voted in the 1988 election │ 56% │ 58% │
│ They believe in a Heaven and a Hell │ 68% │ 78% │
│ They prefer movies at home to going to the theater│ 69% │ 68% │
│ They feel Private Time is important in a marriage │ 32% │ 46% │
│ They clean their belly button every single day │ 42% │ 31% │
│ They eat only 2 meals per day on an average │ 40% │ 34% │
│ They feel stress & tension at the end of each day │ 16% │ 22% │
│ They say they sleep in the nude │ 19% │ 6% │
│ They say their spouse is also their best friend │ 80% │ 73% │
│ They say they always kiss their spouse goodnight │ 52% │ 37% │
│ They say they almost never have sexual fantasies │ 27% │ 44% │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────┴────────────┴───────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Advertise on more than 400 BBSes worldwide at a rate you can afford! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ BIZ CARD AD : $105.00 A Month 4-Issues / $1050.00 A Year 50-Issues │
│ ----------------------------------------------------------------------- │
│ HALF PAGE AD: $200.00 A Month 4-Issues / $2000.00 A Year 50-Issues │
│ ----------------------------------------------------------------------- │
│ FULL PAGE AD: $350.00 A Month 4-Issues / $3500.00 A Year 50-Issues │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ To charge your ad to MASTERCARD or VISA Add the following info: │
│ │
│ CHARGE TO: MC or VISA CARD # EXPIRATION DATE NAME ON CARD │
│ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ │
│ You may also order via E-Mail this way. Conatct The Editor 5 on Beyond │
│ Eternity BBS: 310-371-3734 (12-9600) or 310-370-9464 (3-2400) N 8 1 │
│ │
│ To Place An Ad WITHOUT a credit card, Send a CHECK or MONEY ORDER │
│ (DON'T SEND CASH!) with what you want your ad to say or look like to: │
│ (Enclose Business Card if Biz Card Ad...) │
│ │
│ Eeeek Publishing Company │
│ P.O.Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA. 90266 │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│┌───────────────────────┐ There's A Signpost ┌──────────────────┐│
││┌─────────────────────┐│ Up Ahead, │ Honest, Reliable ││
│││ AFTER HOURS BBS! ││ You have just entered... │ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄ ▄ ││
│││ "Home Of The ││ │ █▄ █▄ █▄ █▄ █▄▀ ││
│││ Unfriendly Texan" ││ ▀█▀ █ █ █▀▀ │ █▄ █▄ █▄ █▄ █ ▀▄ ││
││└─────────────────────┘│ █ █▀█ █▀ │▄▄ ▄ ▄ ▄▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ││
││20 lines, Chat, Games, │ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀▀▀ │█▄▀ ▀▄▀ █ █▄ █▄ ││
││ Files and Fun! │ █▀▄ █▀▄ █▀▀ │█▄▀ █ █ █▄ ▄█ ││
││512-448-3562 :2400 bps │ █▀▄ █▀▄ ▀▀█ │ Techs ││
││512-707-3167 :14.4 bps │ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀▀ │ ┌──────────────┐ ││
││The Best Little BBS in │ ▀▀█ █▀█ █▄ █ █▀▀ █ │ │(310)-371-4260│ ││
││ Texas! │ ▄▀ █ █ █ ▀▄█ █▀ ▀ │ └──────────────┘ ││
│└───────────────────────┘ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ ▀ ▀ ▀▀▀ ▀ └──────────────────┘│
│┌───────────────────────────────────┐ ┌────────────────────────────────────┐│
││ CHANNEL-1 (R) Wins '92 Dvorak/Zoom│ │Online Edition is Only $250 A Year! ││
││ 1st Annual Award Best General BBS!│ │ B o a r d w a t c H ││
││ Over 2,500,000 Calls !!! │ │ M A G A Z I N E ││
││ 617-354-7077 2400/1200 │ │ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ ││
││ 617-354-5776 14.4 v.32bis │ │ │ To Subscribe Call Today: │ ││
││ PO Box 338, Cambridge MA 02238 │ │ │ 303-973-6035 (voice) │ ││
││16 gigs/PcPursuit/Telebit/Compucom │ │ └────────────────────────────────┘ ││
│└───────────────────────────────────┘ └────────────────────────────────────┘│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Horoscopes By Manfred! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Aries [Mar 21 - Apr 19] │
│ Someone who has very strong feelings for you confesses! It's │
│ time to give a special loved one that present. Attraction │
│ between you and another intensifies. Sagittarius involved. │
│ │
│ Taurus [Apr 20 - May 20] │
│ You may be feeling a bit nostalgic this week, why not call │
│ that old friend?! Don't be led by others, Hold fast to your │
│ beliefs & truths! Your health plays a key role, eat well, & │
│ rest. Leo in background. │
│ │
│ Gemini [May 21 - June 20] │
│ Unexpected funds are heading your way! Employment problem │
│ will be solved... Expect the unexpected this week. Cancer │
│ provides insight. │
│ │
│ Cancer [June 21 - July 22] │
│ Sending flowers or a small gift to a love is a great idea! │
│ Some minor adjustments will likely be required this weekend. │
│ Remember-Patience is a virtue! Aries sees your points. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Horoscopes By Manfred! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Leo [July 23 - Aug 22] │
│ You will radiate sensuality wherever you go. Major financial │
│ decisions should be delayed. Take time to contemplate before │
│ making decisions. Aries asks for your help. │
│ │
│ Virgo [Aug 23 - Sept 22] │
│ Don't believe everything that you may hear! Use caution on │
│ the road this week & when dealing with people. Don't push at │
│ a loved one now, give some air. Leo is in picture. │
│ │
│ Libra [Sept 23 - Oct 22] │
│ Highlights are trips/visits and possibly a surprise this │
│ week. A previous investment will soon pay big dividends. │
│ judgment. Aries, Libra wants something from you now. │
│ │
│ Scorpio [Oct 23 - Nov 21] │
│ Take a chance on yourself. Your love relationship will start │
│ to mellow a little! A practical approach to money matters is │
│ needed badly - exercize caution. Capricorn, Sagittarius sees │
│ your points. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Horoscopes By Manfred! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Sagittarius [Nov 22 - Dec 21] │
│ Something missing in a relationship will now show up! │
│ Emphasis on perfecting your techniques, it will be important │
│ to work. Pisces, Leo native plays role. │
│ │
│ Capricorn [Dec 23 - Jan 19] │
│ An increase in wealth is indicated, either through │
│ inheritance or your own business ability. Spotlight focuses │
│ on new purchases, financial benefits, & completion of a │
│ task that's been on your nerves. Leo is available. │
│ │
│ Aquarius [Jan 20 - Feb 18] │
│ Now's a lousy time to plan on borrowing! Your intuition is │
│ on the money, take heed. Relax a little! Do not allow love │
│ to impair judgment. Aries, Libra plays prominent role now! │
│ │
│ Pisces [Feb. 19 - Mar. 20] │
│ Money that you once thought lost will now be regained. │
│ Dining out or a party is shown. Someone who has very strong │
│ feelings for you confesses! Aries is in picture. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ The Joker's Lair #1 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ A couple went to extremes to get their son into an elite college. After │
│ all had been said and done, they spent nearly $100,000 on it. You can │
│ imagine their disappointment when all the got was a Quarterback. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? Seems he got a │
│ little behind in his work. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Why is it that the only direction a sneeze will travel is atchoo? │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Have you ever seen: a fox trot? a belly dance? a ski jump? a house fly? │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ When Dow Chemical Co made napalm, they were termed the Callous Dowboys. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ There once lived a court jester who drove everyone crazy with his constant │
│ pun-making. One day the king could stand it no longer. "Enough!" cried the │
│ king, "Hang the fool!" But as the noose was being drawn around the neck │
│ of the jester, the king had a change of heart; "I'll make you free on the │
│ condition that you never make another pun as long as you live." The │
│ jester replied "That I promise your majesty, No noose is good noose." │
│ So they hanged him. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Poetry -*- Drawer "Thoughts 101a" (c)1992 C.Jaye Anders │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ An empty coffee cup - it sits upon my kitchen table, │
│ Makes me think that it's still morning though it's almost evening now, │
│ The sunlight starts to whither from beneath the shadowed curtain, │
│ And I think that I could write again if only I knew how... │
│ │
│ The greyness of the afternoon has spread into the present, │
│ And I sometimes have to wonder if there's anyone alive, │
│ I stare into the coffee cup as silence screams around me, │
│ And I think that I could feel again if I could find the drive... │
│ │
│ I haven't seen a soul all day - the hermitage becomes me, │
│ The world outside is just a dream I had one time before, │
│ I'm sure that I could fall into the trap of playing rat race, │
│ And I think that I could live again if I could die once more... │
│ │
│ An empty coffee cup - it sits upon my kitchen table, │
│ Makes me think that it's still morning though it's almost midnight now, │
│ The lifetime starts to weather from beneath the shadowed person, │
│ And I think that I could write again if only I knew how. │
│ (Reprinted per request of Razor 18, B.E.) │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ ***************** OFFICIAL U.S. DISTRIBUTION SITES: ********************* │
├───────────────────────────────┬───────────────────┬────────────────────────┤
│ W.COAST: Beyond Eternity: │ 310-371-3734 │ CALIFORNIA │
│ CHATTERBOX! BBS │ 818-995-6959 │ CALIFORNIA │
│ M.WEST: Chicago Syslink │ 708-795-4442 │ ILLINOIS (Fidonet) │
│ E.COAST: U.S.Datanet: │ 617-868-2965 │ MASSACHUSETTS │
│────────────────── OFFICIAL FOREIGN DISTRIBUTION SITES ─────────────────────│
│ Chat-Line: │ 403-299-0180 │ CANADA │
│ Trinity BBS: │ 44-392-410210 │ UNITED KINGDOM │
│ JIX BBS, ASIA: │ 81-6-351-6074 │ JAPAN │
│ World Data Exchange: │ 886-2-931-3045 │ TAIWAN │
│ ┌─────────────────────────────┴─────────┐ ┌───────┴──────────────────────┐ │
│ │REGISTERD . . CHAT-LINE BBS │ │ Other On-Line Magazines Are │ │
│ │DISTRIBUTORS . █▄ 403-299-0180 │ │ Available on Beyond Eternity │ │
│ │ONLY! . _┴_ ░░█ . .│ │ As Well: │ │
│ │ ▄▄▄▄▄ ░░░ CALGARY'S BEST │ │█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█│ │
│ │ \|||/ ░░░ Ages 18 & Up │ │█ Datanet Computer News █│ │
│ │ Complete █ ░░░░ ┌───┐ ┌────┐ ▒│ │█ The Underground Informer █│ │
│ │ Access To ▐▓▌▓┐ ░░░░ │ ■■├───┤ ■■■│▒▒│ │█ MONSOON Online Magazine █│ │
│ │ New & Back ▐▓▌▓└─░░░░ │■ ■│·┌─┘ │▒▒│ │█ GameMaster's Journal █│ │
│ │ Issues! ▐▓▌▓▄▄▄░░███│██▄▄█▄ │▒▒│ │█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█│ │
│ └───────────────────────────────────────┘ └──────────────────────────────┘ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ TO DO's (Our Picks Of Places To Go & Things To Do!) │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The Palace (Club) 1735 N. Vine (213)467-4571 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ English Acid (DANCE) 7699 Santa Monica Bl (213)969-2503 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Florentine Gardens (DANCE) 5951 Hollywood Bl (213)464-0706 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Knott's Berry Farm Buena Park CA (714)220-5200 │
│ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- │
│ Sea World San Diego CA (619)226-3901 │
│ Universal Studios Hollywood CA (818)508-9600 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Cabrillo Marine Museum 3720 Stephen While San Pedro (310)548-7562 │
│ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- │
│ CA Museum of Science 700 State Dr. Exposition Pk (213)744-7400 │
│ Hollywood Studio Museum 2100 N Highland Ave (213)874-2276 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The Comedy Store 8433 Sunset Blvd (213)656-6225 │
│ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- │
│ The Comedy & Magic Club 1018 Hermosa Ave Hermosa Beach (213)372-1193 │
│ The Comedy Club 49 S. Pine Long Beach Ca (310)437-5326 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ A Bedtime Story │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Once upon a time, along a lonely stretch of seacoast in eastern Florida, │
│ every Friday night an old man could be seen walking, bent over. In one hand│
│ he carried a bucket, with the other he tossed shrimp to the waiting gulls │
│ that would flock around him. Now, think back to Oct of 1942, & the reports │
│ that Captain Eddie Rickenbacker was lost at sea. His mission, to deliver │
│ an urgent message to general MacArthur. However, Rickenbacker & his crew on│
│ the B-17 got lost & their plane crashed into the South Pacific. The pilot │
│ & crew got out ok, & the 8 men managed to survive for days. On the 8th day,│
│ they found their worst enemy was not the giant sharks which threatened them│
│ day & night, but starvation. Their rations were gone, & it'd take a miracle│
│ to save them from the death they anticipated out at sea. A miracle somehow │
│ happened. On that day, there was oppressive heat & Rickenbacker managed to │
│ doze off. He awakened by something landing on his head, a sea gull. No one │
│ said a word, but they knew, Rickenbacker knew, this gull meant food if he │
│ could catch it. He managed to, they ate the flesh, & used the intestines as│
│ bait for fish. Their lives were sustained thanks to one lone seagull who │
│ was uncharacteriscally hundreds of miles from land. Rickenbacker never │
│ forgot this gull who offered its life without a struggle, and like manna │
│ from heaven. Every Friday night, Rickenbacker was seen on a lonely stretch│
│ of seacoast in eastern Florida...feeding the seagulls in repayment. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ WeIrD nEwS │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ In Ohio, there is a veterinarian who will freeze-dry your pets...er dead │
│ pets that is. Marshall Pettibone has been quoted as saying "There's no │
│ sense in getting a new cat every 10 years or so when you can have the same │
│ one for 50 or 60 years!" A woman who had her Felix freeze-dried after he │
│ had been run over by an 18-wheeler was quoted as saying "He's just like he │
│ was in real life except he's a little flatter in the middle." │
│ [ed: We almost hate to ask what's next..! Cryogenics got nothin' on that!] │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ In 1979, in Schenectady, NY, police were called to the house of 64 year old│
│ Iva Fletcher. What they were to find there would only be described as │
│ "unbelievable but true" - from the door of the house and out into the trees│
│ there was an ankle-deep swarm of cockroaches. Fletcher was found inside │
│ along with his 2 dozen dogs, fifteen cats, 2 mice & a parrot - all had flea│
│ and cockroach bites. An exterminator who was called to the scene gave the │
│ estimate that there were "definitely millions" of them. The walls of the │
│ the house were covered so thick that it was reported there was no place │
│ else for them to go. The floor was also ankle deep in the crispy critters.│
│ [ed: All we can add to this - amidst scratching! - is yeeeeeeuck!!!!!] │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ In Chicago, IL, a woman traded her 22 mo. old son for $50.00 worth of coke.│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Mind Games 1 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ C F H N X R R N O I M S G Z O U G S T M │ REFRIGERATOR │
│ A F W P W W Q O V R W X R N J T L N W A │ TABLESPOONS ┌───────────┐ │
│ O L W E K X X H T F X E G Y E V A O J W │ TEASPOONS │ THINGS │ │
│ Q Z S Y X O K B Z A T W I A T G S O A N │ COFFEEPOT │ │ │
│ P D Q T J U A Y O S R A K L I U S P K H │ TEAKETTLE │ YOU │ │
│ T J S E T A L P A A Q E K A A M E S A E │ MICROWAVE │ │ │
│ C Y M C H J Y O Y L T S G U B I S E U P │ SAUCERS │ MIGHT │ │
│ A R B S D P T D R T H P P I L O X L I N │ GLASSES │ │ │
│ Y S L N I C T R L E Y S Z U R N W B P B │ PLATTER │ FIND │ │
│ L R E O S A R E E G V A K I C F Q A O M │ TOASTER │ │ │
│ Q E N O H B R T Z G G Y E L X M E T P T │ BLENDER │ IN │ │
│ N C D P E O E T L G G B V Y X M V R Y Z │ KNIVES │ │ │
│ E U E S S W W A P A U F O R K S M M C L │ PLATES │ THE │ │
│ S A R A T D D L S T O V E T H Z F W X Y │ DISHES │ │ │
│ G S K E V L X P A M K M P O S X M C B D │ FORKS │ KITCHEN! │ │
│ U J X T E D J J Z S E V A W O R C I M C │ LADLE └───────────┘ │
│ M W F K N H J R Y V N A Y Y J N C B O R │ BOWLS ┌───────────┐ │
│ S L W O B C G C R F L Y H O H S T P N I │ STOVE │ How Many │ │
│ V S E V I N K X J K W U Z C Z V I S M H │ CUPS │ Do U See? │ │
│ Y L L F E T O P E E F F O C O M X B E G │ MUGS └───────────┘ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ ▄███████ ██ ██ ▄███████ ▄███████▄ ▄██████▄ ▄███████ ┌──────────────│
│ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ │ ADVERTISING │
│ ██ ██▄ ▄██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ │ DOESN'T HAVE │
│ ▀██████▄ ▀██████▀ ▀██████▄ ██ ██ ███████▀ ▀██████▄ │ TO BE COSTLY!│
│ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ └──────────────│
│ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ │
│ ███████▀ ██ ███████▀ ▀███████▀ ██ ███████▀ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██│
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Put YOUR Business Card on more than 350 BBSes worldwide, at a rate you can │
│ afford! Only $105.00 a month or $1050.00 a yr (Save $210)! Mail YOUR card │
│ with a check/M.O. to: ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ EEEEK PUBLISHING CO. │ ┌──────────────┐┌──────────────┐┌──────────────┐│
│ P.O.Box 331 │ │▐ BOOK ││ AVATAR . * .││Back Alley BBS││
│ Manhattan Beach, CA 90266│ │▐ STACKS ││. ONLINE . .││(DLX Tech BBS)││
├──────────────────────────┘ │▐ UNLIMITED ││ * . SYSTEMS ││ Is ││
│┌────────────────────────┐ │▐ ││. ° . . ° . ││ Now Open! ││
││▀▀▀▀▀ WESTSIDE BBS! ▀▀▀▀│ │▐ 600,000+ ││(310)-838-8203││──────────────││
││ 60+ Phone LInes... │ │▐ Titles & ││. * . ° . .°││ 818-893-7600 ││
││ ASP Member! │ │▐ E-Mag Rack ││ 32 Lines! * ││──────────────││
││ SysOps: Dave 1, Walt 2 │ │▐ ││ MANY Extras!.││ Non-SysOps ││
││ Call: (213)-933-4050 │ │▐(216)861-0469││.Sysop:Nancyt4││ Welcome Too! ││
│└────────────────────────┘ └──────────────┘└──────────────┘└──────────────┘│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ \/ More Than 2.7 Million Calls! Los Angeles (213) 933-4050 /\ │
│ /\ Pasadena (213) 227-9724 Long Beach (213) 564-0695 \/ │
│ \/ Torrance (310) 674-4210 Whittier (310) 421-0253 /\ │
│ /\ Canoga Park (818) 909-0451 Pico Rivera (818) 571-5524 \/ │
│ \/ Pomona (818) 961-6133 Simi (818) 709-0729 /\ │
│ /\ Canyon Ctry (805) 255-7341 Thousand Oaks (805) 584-3462 \/ │
│ \/ Anaheim (714) 663-9531 Laguna Beach (714) 857-4571 /\ │
│ ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
│ │ W H E R E T H E C I T Y N E V E R S L E E P S ! │ │
│ │ ▒▒▄ ▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▀▀▀▀ ▒▒█▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▒▒█▀▀▀ ▒▒█▀▀▀▀ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▒▒▒▄ ▒▒█▀▀▀▀ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▀▒▒▒▄ ▒▒█ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▀▒▒▄ ▒▒█ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▄ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▄ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▀▀▀▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▀▀▀ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█▒▒▒█▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒█▀ ▒▒█ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█▒▒▒█▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▒▒▒█▀▀ ▒▒█ │ │
│ │ ▒▒▒█▒▒▒█▀ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒█▀▀ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ │ │
│ │ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ │ │
│ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
│ 70+ Lines, Online Games, Online Magazines, Many Pub Boards, Databases, │
│ E-Mail, Chat, Group Chat, Matching, Get-togethers, And SO Much More !! │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ READER SURVEY 1993 │
│----------------------------------------------------------------------------│
│ 1: YOUR AGE GROUP IS? │
│ A: Under 25 4: HOW OFTEN DO YOU READ EEEEKS? │
│ C: 26 to 35 A: Every Single Issue! │
│ D: 36 to 45 B: 2-3 Times A Month │
│ E: 46 to 55 C: Once A Month or Less │
│ F: 55 + │
│ 5: YOUR GENDER? │
│ 2: YOUR JOB: A: Male B: Female │
│ A: White Collar/Mgmt │
│ B: Tech/Computer 6: HOW MANY BBSES DO YOU BELONG TO? │
│ C: Biz Owner/Self-Emp'd A: 1 B: 2-3 C: 4-5 D: 5+ │
│ D: Unemployed/In School │
│ F: Other:______________ 7: DO YOU READ OTHER EMAGAZINES? │
│ A: Yes B: Some C: No │
│ 3: YEARLY INCOME: │
│ A: Under $20,000 8: DO YOU CLASSIFY YOURSELF AS │
│ B: $20,000 - $39,000 COMPUTER LITERATE? │
│ C: $40,000 + A: Yes B: Somewhat C: No │
│----------------------------------------------------------------------------│
│Please Mail To: EEEEK Publishing Co. PO Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA. 90266 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Quotes 'N' Notes 1 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "The United States has much to offer the 3rd World War." - Reagan │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ An error at the U.S.Mint, a series of coins were stamped "In Gold We Trust"│
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ In U.S. President Martin VanBuren's memoirs, he never once mentioned his │
│ wife of 12 years. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ In France, in 1863, Paul Hubert served 21 years of a life sentence for │
│ murdering himself. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The U.S. Army left behind arms at bases in Thailand and the violent crime │
│ rate of that country increased several thousand times. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Lord Nelson, famous British seaman, suffered from sea-sickness a lot │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Tourist Trouble: No U.S. coin has a numerical marking. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 2 Time Nobel Prize winner Marie Curie died of radiation poisoning │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "I would have made a good Pope" - Richard Nixon │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Metaphysical BITS! - Who Ya Gonna Call? │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│There ARE in fact, legitimate places/people you can call if you need some │
│assistance with paranormal happenings. The following list should help: │
│ │
│ Haunt Hunters Andrus Phenomena Research Ctr │
│ Goodwilling/Hoener Lynda Andrus, director │
│ 2188 Sycamore Hill Ct. 2016 Hermanville Road │
│ Cesterfield, MO Lexignton Park MD │
│ 63017-7223 20653 │
│ │
│ Parapsychology Resource Ctr Maurice Schwalm │
│ Kelly Roberts Psychic Investigator │
│ P.O.Box 2715 P.O.Box 3522 │
│ Escondito, CA. Kansas City, KS │
│ 92025 66103-0522 │
│ │
│ Spiritual Frontiers Fellowship Ed & Lorraine Warren │
│ P.O.Box 7868 Psychic Investigators │
│ Philadelphia, PA P.O.Box 41 │
│ 19101 Monroe, CT. 06468 │
│ (203)-268-8235 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Beyond Eternity BBS (213)-371-3734 . . . * . . . │
│. . . . . . . . . . . . . │
│ Have access to ALL Public Boards, DataBanks, On-Line Mags, & E-Mail FREE!!!│
│.Subscribers get 50 PLUS NEW FILES PER MONTH as well as FILE REQUESTS! . │
│ [NOTE: Free Accounts do NOT have upload/download access!!] . * . . │
│ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . │
│ . . * . . . . . . . . . │
│ . . . . . . . . * . . . * .│
│. . . . . * . . . . . . . . │
│ . . . ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄. . . . . . . . . │
│ . . │││││││││ . . . ▄▄▄▄▄▄ . . . . │
│. * . ▐ │││││││││ . ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ││││││││ . ▄█▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ . . │
│ . . ▌ ▒▒ │││││││││ . ║║║║║║║║║║║││││││││ ▄█████▄││││││││ . . │
│. ▌▌▌ ▒▒▒▒ │││││││││ │ ║║║║║║║║║║║││││││││ ███████│││││▌▌▌▌▌ ║║║│
│ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▌▌▌▌▌ ▒▒▒▒▒▒│││││││││ │ ║║║║║║║║║║║│││││││║║║║║║║║██││││▌▌▌▌▌▌▌ ║║║│
│║║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒│││││││││▓▓▓ ║║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌││││║║║║║║║║██│││▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌║║║│
│║║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒││││││││▓▓▓▓▓║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌│▒▒▒▒▒▒▒║║║██│││▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌║║║│
│║║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒│││││││▓▓▓▓▓▓║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒║║██│││▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌║║║│
│║║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒│││││││▓▓▓▓▓▓║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒║║▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐║║║│
│║║║║║║║▌▌▌▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒│││││││▓▓▓▓▓▓║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒║║▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐║║║│
│║║║║║║║▌▌░░░░░░░░░▒▒│││││││▓▓▓▓▓▓║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒║║▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐║║║│
│║║║║║║║▌▌░░░░░░░░░▒▒│││││││▓▓▓▓▓▓║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒║║▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐║║║│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ B O A R D W A T C H M A G A Z I N E Announces: │
│ The Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest for 1993 │
│ │
│ WIN A FREE HIGH SPEED MODEM │
│ Boardwatch Magazine is sponsoring a contest to find the 100 most popular │
│ bulletin board systems in North America - and the ONE BBS most popular │
│ among callers. The contest will run from January 1, 1993 through July 1, │
│ 1993. Winners will be announced at the Online Networking Exposition and │
│ BBS Convention (ONE BBSCON) held at the Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado │
│ Springs Colorado, August 25-29, 1993. The Boardwatch 100 list will be │
│ published in subsequent issues of Boardwatch Magazine and distributed in │
│ electronic form world-wide. │
│ │
│ PRIZES FOR BULLETIN BOARD OPERATORS │
│ 1ST PRIZE: Air fare, hotel accommodations and registration at ONE BBSCON │
│ for one is awarded to the system receiving the most votes. Additionally, │
│ the system will receive a free full-page black and white advertisement in │
│ Boardwatch Magazine for a period of three months. An award trophy will │
│ be presented at the ONE BBSCON and a feature story on their BBS will │
│ appear in a subsequent issue of the magazine.. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ TOP 10: The 10 most popular BBSes selected by the voters will each receive │
│ an award trophy during a special presentation at the Online Networking │
│ Exposition & BBS Convention (ONE BBSCON) August 25-29, 1993. Additionally, │
│ a story describing their system will appear in Boardwatch Magazine, they │
│ will be included in a special TOP TEN BBS listing in the magazine, & will │
│ receive a free 1/4 page black & white advertisement in 3 successive issues.│
│ Finally, they'll be listed in the Boardwatch 100 BBS list. │
│ │
│ TOP ONE HUNDRED: The 100 bulletin boards receiving the most votes will │
│ each be listed in the Boardwatch 100 readers choice BBS list. This list │
│ will be published in Boardwatch Magazine and freely distributed │
│ electronically on thousands of bulletin boards world-wide. │
│ │
│ PRIZES FOR VOTERS: All valid ballots submitted by voters will be entered │
│ in a random sweepstakes drawing. As of the opening date of this contest, │
│ prizes include TWO U.S. ROBOTICS COURIER DUAL STANDARD 16.8K MODEMS, two │
│ HAYES OPTIMA 14400 + FAX 144 modems, & two ZyXEL U-1496 14,400 bps modems │
│ - & more are on the way. A minimum of six valid ballots will be selected │
│ from all entries & each will receive a free modem - from the most popular │
│ modem manufacturers in the world. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ RULES FOR CALLERS: Each voter can vote once, for a single bulletin board │
│ system. Each ballot must be fully completed, & individually mailed by each │
│ voter. One vote per address, & we will verify ballots as necessary. There │
│ are three ways to vote: │
│ │
│ 1. Printout and complete this ballot and mail to: │
│ BOARDWATCH MAGAZINE │
│ READERS CHOICE BBS CONTEST │
│ 5970 South Vivian Street │
│ Littleton, CO 80127 │
│ │
│ 2. Print out, complete this ballot and FAX to (303)973-3731. │
│ │
│ 3. Or, dial the Boardwatch BBS at (303)973-4222 and complete the online │
│ ballot provided on the main menu. │
│ │
│ Balloting closes at 23:59:59, June 30, 1993. │
│ │
│ This contest is not limited to Boardwatch Magazine subscribers, and no │
│ purchase of any kind is required to participate in this contest. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ NOTE: We held this contest during 1992 and it generated 11,152 votes by │
│ the close of balloting for some 1250 different BBSes. The TOP system │
│ received about 450 votes. Your individual vote can have a tremendous │
│ impact on the outcome of this contest. Further, the odds of winning a │
│ modem in last years contest, were 1 in 1394 (8 modems awarded). │
│ │
│ RULES FOR BBS OPERATORS: Bulletin Board Operators may encourage callers │
│ to vote for their system by offering whatever inducements/encouragements │
│ they like. There is one rule to this contest for BBS operators. YOU MAY │
│ NOT HANDLE ANY VOTE AFTER THE CALLER HAS COMPLETED THE BALLOT. YOU MAY NOT│
│ HANDLE IT IN ANY WAY. │
│ │
│ You may provide callers with anything you like, including postage paid │
│ envelopes, printed matter, solicitations, etc. But once they've completed │
│ a ballot, if you touch, handle, or otherwise deal with the ballot in any │
│ way, your BBS will be disqualified from the contest without appeal or │
│ recourse. │
│ │
│ If you wish to post an electronic ballot on your BBS, you may post this │
│ file IN ITS ENTIRETY. You may post any additional information you feel │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ is appropriate, but this entire rules file must be available to all │
│ callers. │
│ │
│ Despite the fact that this contest has a minimum of rules, this one rule │
│ does cause problems each year. You cannot post online surveys or doors to │
│ allow voters to vote online. This is vote handling. You cannot accept │
│ ballots & mail or fax them in for callers. The rule of thumb is pretty │
│ clear: You can provide anything you like TO callers to induce them to vote.│
│ There is NOTHING you can accept FROM callers in any way pertaining to this │
│ ballot at all. THEY must complete the ballot & forward it to us themselves.│
│ │
│ We actually received FEDEX packages on the final day of the contest last │
│ year from BBS operators who claimed to have collected a hundred or so │
│ votes. Infractions are dealt with quite economically - the BBS is │
│ summarily disqualified without recourse or appeal. │
│ │
│ One new element introduced in the 1993 contest is date scoring. All │
│ ballots received from 1 January 1993 through 30 June 1993 will receive a │
│ date score based on the date of receipt. Date scores will range from 180 │
│ for votes received 1 January down to 1 for votes received on June 30. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ These date stamp values are cummulative for each BBS and will be used to │
│ eliminate ALL ties in the TOP 100. Since ties are quite common in this │
│ contest, it pays to get your votes in early. │
│ │
│ This contest is open to all BBSes worldwide with the sole exception of the │
│ Boardwatch Magazine BBS - which is ineligible. Commercial services such as │
│ Prodigy, America Online, CompuServe, are considered to be networks and not │
│ bulletin boards for the purposes of this contest. HOWEVER, individual │
│ forums, roundtables, or special interest areas moderated by a specific │
│ human SYSOP on those services & allowing callers to post messages in that │
│ specific area ARE considered to be bulletin boards for the purposes of this│
│ contest and may participate. │
│ │
│ BOARDWATCH MAGAZINE │
│ 5970 South Vivian Street │
│ Littleton, CO 80127 │
│ FAX: (303)973-3731. │
│ BBS: (303)973-4222 │
│ │
│ Balloting closes at 23:59:59, June 30, 1993. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest-BALLOT │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ ***************************************************************************│
│ BOARDWATCH 100 READERS CHOICE BBS CONTEST 1993 BALLOT FORM│
│ Because Eeeeks is 24 lines per page, ballot form continues next page... │
│ ***************************************************************************│
│ Mail to: BOARDWATCH MAGAZINE READERS, CHOICE BBS CONTEST │
│ 5970 S Vivian St Littleton, CO 80127 │
│ BBS INFORMATION: │
│ TITLE OF BBS YOU NOMINATE AS BEST BBS:____________________________________ │
│ PRIMARY BBS ACCESS TELEPHONE NUMBER: ____________________________________ │
│ │
│ VOTER VERIFICATION INFORMATION: Voter information will be used to verify a │
│ selected sampling of caller ballots. Responses to certain questions will be│
│ used to produce aggregate statistical information on BBS callers to be │
│ published in Boardwatch Magazine in future issues. All information required│
│ Incomplete ballots will be discarded │
│ │
│ VOTER NAME: ______________________________________________________________ │
│ STREET ADDRESS: __________________________________________________________ │
│ CITY: _________________________________ STATE/PROVINCE: __________________ │
│ ZIP OR POSTAL CODE: ___________________ COUNTRY: _________________________ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest-BALLOT │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ VOTER VOICE TELEPHONE NUMBER: ____________________________________________ │
│ AGE:____ SEX: [ ] M [ ] F PROFESSION:__________________________________ │
│ COMMUNICATIONS SOFTWARE USED: ____________________________________________ │
│ HIGHEST MODEM SPEED YOUR MODEM SUPPORTS? [ ] 1200 bps [ ] 2400 bps │
│ [ ] 9600 bps [ ] 14,400 bps │
│ MODEM MANUFACTURER AND MODEL: ____________________________________________ │
│ PERSONAL COMPUTER ARCHITECTURE: [ ] MS-DOS - IBM PC/Compatable │
│ [ ] Apple Macintosh [ ] Other: (specify) ______________________________ │
│ DO YOU REGULARLY USE MICROSOFT WINDOWS? [ ] yes [ ] no │
│ HAVE YOU INSTALLED A SECOND TELEPHONE LINE FOR DATA USE? [ ] yes [ ] no │
│ ESTIMATED TOTAL NUMBER OF CALLS YOU MAKE TO ALL BBSs PER MONTH: __________ │
│ ESTIMATED AVERAGE CALL DURATION: _______ │
│ GUESTIMATE THE DATE OF YOUR FIRST MODEM CALL: ____________________________ │
│ │
│ SIGNATURE: __________________________________ DATE: ______________________ │
│ │
│ For more information on ONE BBSCON '93 - call (303)693-5253 voice or the │
│ ONE BBSCON BBS at (303)693-5432. For more information about Boardwatch │
│ Magazine, dial (303)973-4222 by modem To subscribe by voice using MC/Visa │
│ (800)933-6038. Boardwatch Magazine is published monthly at $36 per year. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ The Joker's Lair #2 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Q: What do a 7/11 store & Madonna's legs have in common? │
│ A: Neither of them ever close. │
│ │
│ Q: What's the difference between a b*tch & a prostitute? │
│ A: A prostitute screws everyone in town, A b*tch screws everyone but you. │
│ │
│ Dan Quayle is sooooooo dumb (how dumb IS he?) He's so dumb that when │
│ he saw a sign saying "Wet Floor" - he did. │
│ │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ █ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀█ │
│ ▄ ▄ │
│ ▀ █ ▄▀▀▀▀▄ ▄────. ▄▀▀▀▀▄ █▀▀▀▀ █▀▀▀▀ ANY Subscription To: ▀ │
│ █ █ █ █ ▀▄▀ /' █ █ █ █ BEYOND ETERNITY BBS █ │
│ ▄ █ █ █ /' ▄ █ █ █▀▀▀ █▀▀▀ ▄ │
│ ▀ █ █ █ /' ▀▄▀ █ █ █ █ Mail This In With ▀ │
│ █ █ ▀▄▄▄▄▀ ' ▀▄▄▄▄▀ █ █ Your Subscription. █ │
│ ▄ (310)-371-3734 12-9600 ▄ │
│ ▀ - OFFER EXPIRES 07-01-1993 - (310)-370-9464 3-2400 ▀ │
│ █▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ █ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dead Right! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ In 1791 the Duke De Lauzun was on his deathbed. His heirs stood around and │
│ waited for the old man to pass away, and the Duke decided to play one last │
│ joke on them and told them he was leaving all his money to charity. The │
│ look on their faces amused him so that he began laughing so hard that he │
│ somehow recovered his health and lived to the age of 90. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The George F. Whitney was a schooner launched in 1871... it smashed onto │
│ rocks at Sugar Island on its maiden voyage. They rebuilt the ship and on │
│ its second voyage it was wrecked at Vermilion, Ohio. Rebuilt again, the │
│ ship sailed into a storm on lake Michigan and vanished with all hands. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Mrs. Albert E. Royce of Bowling Green, Ohio, told her family on DECEMBER │
│ 3,1874 that she'd dreamed she would be taken ill on NOVEMBER 27, 1877 and │
│ would die on the following DECEMBER 3, 1877. She got sick and died just as │
│ she had dreamed 3 years before. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Time Flies as Dead Man Signs His Own Will. Henry Lewis signed his will │
│ AFTER he had died. His son-in-law, John Briggs placed a live fly in his │
│ father-in-law's mouth and guided the dead man's hand to affix a signature │
│ so witnesses could say it was signed "while there was life in the Testator.│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Maniamaniacs │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Doromaniac - Someone who compulsively gives presents. [ed: why don't I ever│
│ meet such interesting people...;>?] │
│ │
│ Emetomaniac - Someone who always feels like throwing up. [ed: Bet they are │
│ watching too much Senate coverage....] │
│ │
│ Oniomaniac - Someone who compulsively buys things. [ed: yeah...so what?!;>]│
│ │
│ Klazomaniac - Someone who always feels like yelling. [ed: Oh, a mother.] │
│ │
│ Onychotillomaniac - Someone who constantly picks at their nails. │
│ │
│ Philopatridomaniac - Somebody who is constantly homesick. [ed: Toto...?] │
│ │
│ Catapedamaniac - Someone who has a constant urge to jump from high places. │
│ [ed: Well now I understand it - parachuting is a sickness]│
│ │
│ Ichthyomaniac - Someone who is a little too fond of fish. [ed: Very Finny] │
│ │
│ Titillomaniac - Someone who compulsively scratches. [ed: No more lotto...] │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ The Unexplained │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ A lady is found dead on the floor of her kitchen. Apparent cause of death,│
│ a knife wound to the heart. Yet the knife did not penetrate the clothing │
│ she had on and the blood on the knife, it was later discovered, was not │
│ hers. The coroner, who examined the body, concluded that death was │
│ instant when the knife penetrated the heart. The inner garment was blood │
│ stained but only slightly. Because death was instant, she could not have │
│ stabbed herself and then dressed. Since the blood on the knife did not │
│ match hers, was she murdered while nude and then dressed? Her age, 72, │
│ suggests it not likely. The wound was almost bloodless. No explanation │
│ has ever been given. │
│ │
│ Another unexplained case happened in 1974 in Indianapolis, Indiana. At │
│ the end of the work day the people working for Dowling Construction Co. │
│ left work as normal and left a two and one half ton steel wrecking ball │
│ hanging from the crane some two hundred feet above the ground. The next │
│ day, when they returned to work, they discovered the steel wrecking ball │
│ gone. The police were called. They investigated the scene and found │
│ no clues or evidence as to how the wrecking ball was removed from the │
│ crane, save the ball missing. They attempted to search for the wrecking │
│ ball, it was never found. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█│
│█ >>>>>>>>>>> Eeeek BITS! IS NOW AVAILABLE VIA FIDONET! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< █│
│█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█│
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ E B ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ Official E.B. │
│ e I │ From Chicago Syslink 708-795-4442 │ Fidonet │
│ e T └──────┬───────────────────┬────────┘ Distributor! │
│ e S │ Fidonet 1:115/622 │ Get Eeeeks via │
│ k ! └───────────────────┘ FILE-REQUEST! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Serving the Midwest since June '81 (Pre-PC), Chicago Syslink offers a │
│ multi-line service with Online Interactive Games (80+), a NEW CD-ROM │
│ disk every week, with thousands of the latest files, a varied message │
│ base with topics like Ferret Forum & Chicago Sports, Online magazines │
│ & publications including Eeeek BITS! & HI-Tech Home, Internet/Fidonet │
│ & much more. We support 300 bps up to 14,400 bps. Why not call today! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Let the SysOp know what versions you would like to see on FileRequest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█│
│█ CHICAGO SYSLINK: ** Powerful ** Simple ** Professional ** █│
│█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░│
│░░┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐░░│
│░░│ Eeeek BITS! Has been around 3 years now, and we are in 40 U.S. states│░░│
│░░│ & 14 Countries, and our readership continues to grow constantly...! │░░│
│░░├──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤░░│
│░░│░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░│░░│
│░░│░░┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ If YOU haven't thought about ELECTRONIC ADVERTISING, consider │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ the ENTIRE MARKET you are missing out on! People who read us │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ vary in age from 12 to 75, with the average reader being 35-45 │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ years old, $40,000+ yearly, White-Collar job, & consider them- │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ selves computer-literate. (Results from ongoing surveys in EB) │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ ELECTRONIC ADVERTISING: │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ It MAKES sense and SAVES cents! │░░│░░│
│░░│░░└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘░░│░░│
│░░│░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░│░░│
│░░├──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤░░│
│░░│ Contact Eeeek BITS! PO Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266 - OR - │░░│
│░░│ Call B.E. BBS: 310-371-3734 (1200-9600) & Write The Editor #5. │░░│
│░░└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘░░│
│░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Nightmare On 12th St. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ I've been hearing about how I should write this up for eons, and either │
│ post it somewhere or submit it. Well I finally decided to do it. The │
│ names and places have been changed to protect the guilty - namely me. The │
│ story is true, sadly, and all I can say is Freddy Kruger - watch out!!! │
│ │
│ We were moving from a rented place to our new home. It was the last day │
│ at the apartment, and we were getting the last of the junk out and cleaning│
│ things up. After we moved the sofa, we noticed a huge pink stain in the │
│ middle of the beautiful grey carpeting. Oh no! The landlord would surely │
│ zap us big bucks for that, and after all the money put out on the new home │
│ - we knew we couldn't afford it. Somehow we had to take care of that stain│
│ before we left. Unfortunately the phones had been turned off already so I │
│ couldn't call the carpet cleaners to come, they have an answering machine │
│ and call you back. Shoot. Ok, we decided to drive out to a payphone and │
│ call. "Hi George - This is Dennis, from 12th Street, listen, I got a big │
│ problem, we are moving out today & have no phone, so you can't call me, │
│ but if you can come over asap we have a beautiful pink stain we need help │
│ with! Thanks." This was at 10 in the morning. By the time noon rolled │
│ around & we hadn't seen a sign of George, we started to get nervous and we │
│ decided to take care of the problem ourselves. Mistake number one. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Nightmare On 12th St. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Linda & I looked at each other, trying to figure out how we could do this. │
│ We started simply by using the carpet shampooer. We figured it MIGHT work. │
│ When it didn't, Linda went looking frantically around and came back with a │
│ can of Woolite rug cleaner from under the bathroom sink. We sprayed it on, │
│ let it sit and scrubbed it out. We now had a very CLEAN pink spot on the │
│ grey rug. Darn. Well, we decided to take a jaunt to the drug store and │
│ pick up whatever we could find that might help. We came back with Resolve,│
│ De-Solve It, 2 colors of RIT dye, and a RIT dye-remover kit. If all else │
│ failed, we could bleach the spot & redye it, right? Mistake number two. │
│ We started with the Resolve, after all Dupont generally has some heavy duty│
│ industrial strength stuff. All it did was add a new scent to our chemical-│
│ scented room. Linda swore up and down that De-Solve It would work on ANY- │
│ thing - so we tried it. The color on the rug didn't change, but we were │
│ starting to LIKE the pink shade, it looked...nouveau. Yeah, basically we │
│ just starting to get high off the mixture of fumes now present. Getting a │
│ bit discouraged, we decided that it was time to use the dye-remover and re-│
│ dye. Linda boiled the water per the instructions & mixed the dye-removing │
│ goop up. She POURED it on the rug so that there would be no chance we'd │
│ miss anything. We waited a while and then sopped it up as per the box. Ok │
│ so now our stain was not only pink, but smelled like sulfur as well. P-U! │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Nightmare On 12th St. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Things were starting to get blurry as the mixed scents of Woolite, Resolve,│
│ Dye-Remover, De Solve It, and shampoo invaded the crevices of what was left│
│ of our brains. We mixed the RIT dye packages up and started dabbing the │
│ rug, getting our noses closer to the smell, and finding ourselves laughing │
│ without cause. When we were done we sat back on the couch which had been │
│ moved and waited for the rug to dry, hoping that the black & grey dyes │
│ would be about the right color when dry. Unfortunately all they did was to │
│ turn our pretty Nouveau pink spot into a harsh light purplish colored spot │
│ instead. We were at a loss for what to do, but we were also now plastered │
│ off our butts. Linda went to the bathroom and screamed "I KNOW!!" - I just│
│ watched from the couch as she came around the corner, whipped her hands │
│ from behind her back and produced a can and bubbled "BON AMI!!" - things │
│ went a little blank after that - I think I passed out from laughing so hard│
│ - but deep inside a part of me was wondering "Hmmm it MIGHT work..." At │
│ about 3 in the afternoon, Linda & I were sitting there laughing still, when│
│ I got an idea. I turned to her & said "Ya know, when painters need to make │
│ paint darker, they add ash!" and I quickly turned over an ashtray onto the │
│ spot and began rubbing frantically as Linda squirmed in hysteria on the │
│ couch. After about 10 minutes unsuccessfully, I plopped back on the couch. │
│ "What about dirt?" Linda perked. "Wouldn't THAT darken it??" I stopped to │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Nightmare On 12th St. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ contemplate the idea, but before I could respond, Linda was out the door & │
│ back with a bowl-full of fresh brown earth. She proceeded to sprinkle it │
│ over the spot as if she were cooking, and then began rubbing it in. As I │
│ watched her, I realized that the color was indeed getting darker.. too much│
│ so. I started wondering what we could use to lighten it. We'd used all of│
│ the dye-remover already... Linda stood up, stood back and viewed her work.│
│ "Well, at least it doesn't stand out as much as it did before..." she │
│ mumbled. For the next couple of hours off and on - we took turns coming up│
│ with ideas that started out - "Wait! I have an idea..." eventually even we │
│ realized how ludicrous the ideas were getting and when we'd hear the line, │
│ we just fall over laughing. I pride myself on my logic & ability to solve │
│ any problem, & this would have made me crazy if I hadn't sniffed in as many│
│ chemicals as I had. I passed a half-packed box & noticed something. Nah...│
│ it wouldn't work, or WOULD it? "Linda! What about...?" I spouted hopefully │
│ as I held up a can of light grey spray-paint. She started laughing & then │
│ said "Actually, it MIGHT work...try it if you want, after all, it can't be │
│ any worse.." then she broke out in laughter again. I did. Yes I really did.│
│ It of course didn't help. Minutes later George showed, looked at the spot, │
│ shook his head & said "You really should have called me sooner." He tried │
│ but couldn't get it out either. We placed the sofa over the spot & left. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Poetry -*- Drawer "When All Is Said & Done" (c) 1992 C.Jaye Anders │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ Whisper gentle secrets, in my awaiting ear, │
│ Let me believe all that I see, and all that I may hear. │
│ For Time, she passes swifty like - when darkness meets the sun, │
│ Let me believe you loved me, when all is said and done. │
│ │
│ Hold me, gently touch me - and kiss me on my soul, │
│ Allow me to feel tenderness, that I believe I'm whole. │
│ For Happiness, she's here and gone - life cannot be just fun, │
│ Please let me feel I mattered, when all is said and done. │
│ │
│ Trust me with your thoughts now, trust me with all your dreams, │
│ Let me see that this is real, and love is what it seems. │
│ For Truth, she cannot lie to us, she holds a smoking gun, │
│ Let me see you needed me, when all is said and done. │
│ │
│ Whisper gentle secrets, in my awaiting ear, │
│ Let me believe all that I see, and all that I may hear. │
│ For Life, she doesn't own us, all ends which once begun, │
│ Let me believe we shared love, when all is said and done. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Mind Games 2 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ K M S A G C H O P S T I C K S G C Y Z K │ COOKIESHEET ┌────────────┐ │
│ L S I T Q A E J J Y G Z P Y J O C J I A │ PLASTICWRAP │ MORE │ │
│ L Z N C A K E P A N S A C C B P P W N S │ CHOPSTICKS │ │ │
│ E W K K N R D T V I N Q L Z Y A O A F R │ CANOPENER │ THINGS │ │
│ Z F G W M L V E E D T W E R D S K X M G │ CLEANSERS │ │ │
│ T S P A T U L A V E W N A E C Y V P C R │ GROCERIES │ YOU │ │
│ R P H E P C M R E Q H R N P Q G F A D O │ FRYINGPAN │ │ │
│ O G M V Y P I R Q K C S S Q J L M P I C │ CUISINART │ MIGHT │ │
│ Q R U U F P X A P W P E E H B U O E Y E │ EGGBEATER │ │ │
│ P E L X G W E I A T Y J R I C T Q R E R │ STEELWOOL │ FIND │ │
│ S N X T L A R Q R R U A S A K P C Q G I │ CROCKPOT │ │ │
│ K E T O O W D E W P J B F W J O A R G E │ CAKEPANS │ IN │ │
│ E P B P O L H I C H Q T Z M P U O S B S │ WAXPAPER │ │ │
│ O O Q K W I F S I N A P K I N S B C E W │ GRIDDLE │ THE │ │
│ W N G C L O U C T Z M H A R X Z I V A R │ FREEZER │ │ │
│ Y A T O E F Z L S R E Z E E R F O H T X │ TINFOIL │ KITCHEN! │ │
│ V C A R E N N Z A F R Y I N G P A N E G │ NAPKINS └────────────┘ │
│ N W I C T I G L L L H E L D D I R G R X │ SPATULA ┌────────────┐ │
│ J O L X S T U G P T R A N I S I U C C G │ MIXER │ 20 More! │ │
│ J J S P H T X V K C Y Q R I B P O A H L │ SINK └────────────┘ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ ╔═══════════╗ We believe honesty is the best policy, always! │
│ ║ ┌───────┐ ║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
│ ║ │ Eeeek │∞║ │ You don't HAVE to spend a fortune! │ │
│ ║ │ BYTES │∞║ ├─────────────────────────────────────────┤ │
│ ║ └───────┘ ║ │ The Techs at Eeeek BYTES! can help you! │ │
│ ╚══╤═════╤══╝ ├─────────────────────────────────────────┤ │
│ ┌─────┐╒══╧═════╧══╕ │ We're not a retailer, we're a service! │ │
│ │∞∞∞∞∞││ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ │ │ Because of that we can keep costs low! │ │
│ ┌┴─────┴┴──────────┬┴──────┐ └─────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
│ │ ■■■ │ ───── │ We are tired of watching people get ripped │
│ │ ║║║║║║║║║║ │~~~~~~~│ & we can help you with most anything! │
│ └──────────────────┴───────┘ │
│ 1: SYSTEM PURCHASING. Help you find the equipment or software you need, │
│ & attempt to at the best price. You don't purchase from us, but through us.│
│ │
│ 2: SYSTEM SETUP/MAINTENANCE. Set up your computer, add hardware, install/ │
│ customize software, diagnose possible problems & more. Our techs have years│
│ of hands on experience in hardware AND software. │
│ │
│ 3: CUSTOM PROGRAMMING. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ We'll quote you an estimate at no cost, then YOU decide! (310)-371-4260 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Eeeek BYTES! provides both the Business & End-User with A-1 PC Service..! │
│----------------------------------------------------------------------------│
│ FOR BUSINESSES * OR * FOR END-USERS: REPAIR & UPGRADE: Why buy │
│ ------------------------------------- new when you don't need to? │
│ TRAINING: We help YOUR │
│ people to learn YOUR CONSULTATION: Let us help │
│ programs...at YOUR own ╔═══════════╗ you find the best deal! │
│ location! ║ ┌───────┐ ║ │
│ ║ │ │∞║ │
│ SYSTEM MAINTENANCE: We ║ │c:>_ │∞║ "The Honest Technicians!" │
│ will come out once a ║ └───────┘ ║ Eeeek BYTES! (sm) │
│ month and optimize ╚══╤═════╤══╝ │
│ your systems, check ╒════╧═════╧════╕ DON'T PAY TOO MUCH !!!!! │
│ for viruses, and │ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ │ │
│ answer employees' ┌─────┴────────────┬──┴────┐ Our prices are VERY │
│ questions! │ @■■ │ ─/─── │ competitive, and you │
│ │║║║║║║║║║║║║ │~~~~~~~│ simply cannot find │
│ CUSTOM PROGRAMMING: └──────────────────┴───────┘ anyone more honest or │
│ We will set you up (310)- reliable to entrust │
│ with customized programs 371- with your computers! │
│ or menus of your specs! 4260 │
│ 9:00 am - 5:00 pm PDT CALL US TODAY! │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ MEN vs. WOMEN! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ NEWS FLASH: MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT ALIKE! │
│ Now we have proof! After countless hours of surveying and studying on the │
│ following topics, the facts have emerged! │
│ │
│ 1: A Man doesn't call a relationship a "relationship"... he refers to it │
│ as "The time when me & debbie was doin it a lot." When relationships │
│ end, women cry and talk to girlfriends, and write poems entitled "Men │
│ Are All Slimeballs From Hell", and then get on with their life. A man │
│ has a tad more trouble letting go... 8 months after the break up, in │
│ the middle of the night he'll call and say things like "I just wanted │
│ to let you know you screwed up my life and I'll never forgive you, and │
│ I hate you, you slut! But I want you to know, theres always hope for us.│
│ │
│ 2: Women like 30 to 50 minutes of foreplay, men like 30 to 50 seconds of │
│ foreplay and consider driving back to her place part of the foreplay. │
│ │
│ 3: At MOST, a man has 6 items in his bathroom: Toothbrush, Toothpaste, │
│ Shaving Cream, A Razor, Bar of soap, and a stolen towel from a hotel. │
│ The average woman has around 632 items in her bathroom. 630 of these │
│ items would not be able to be identified by the average man. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ MEN vs. WOMEN! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 4: Women make a list of what they need and THEN go to the store. Men wait │
│ until the only things left in their kitchen are a piece of lemon and a │
│ big green thing, THEN they go shopping. Men will buy everything that │
│ looks good, and by the time they reach the checkout their cart is packed│
│ so full it can barely be pushed...but they will still go to the Quick │
│ Check lane. │
│ │
│ 5: A man is ready to go out when he says he is ready to go out. A woman, │
│ however, may SAY she is ready to go out, but what that really means is │
│ she will be ready in 45 minutes when she finishes her hair and makeup. │
│ │
│ 6: If Maggie, Janice, Linda and Becky get together at lunch, they will call│
│ each other Maggie, Janice, Linda and Becky. BUT, if Dave, John, Bob, & │
│ Mark go out for a beer together, they will call each other by cute and │
│ affectionate nicknames like: Butt-head, jerk-off, Godzilla & Ape-Face. │
│ │
│ 7: When women bond with each other they share the very innermost thoughts │
│ of their mind and soul with each other. When men bond, they physically │
│ assault each other, tell incredible lies about their sex life, and then │
│ drink too much, get sick or pass out. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ WeIrD wOrLd! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│The Railroad station in Savona, Italy, constructed in 1962, has no railroad.│
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│In Bayou Goula, Louisiana, the Madonna Chapel is just big enough to allow │
│the priest inside while saying mass...all others must remain outside! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│In India, the waterfall of Kapilatirtham does a strange thing... during any │
│period of drought, the waterfall's flow actually INCREASES!! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│The Police Station in Carrabelle, Florida is an outdoor telephone booth! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│In Wieliczka Poland, there is an underground church carved completely out of│
│solid salt... in fact, a complete city has been built in these salt mines! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│The Ice Mine is located in Coudersport Pennsylvania, and is a true freak of │
│nature! Strange ice formations and huge icicles form only during HOT weather│
│and thaw out during cold weather. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│Should you drive out to the N.W. section of Arizona, you might find Nothing │
│in the arid desert. Nothing is actually a small town, and we mean small! │
│It consists of 1 snack bar, a garage & a population of 4 people. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Beyond Eternity: 310-371-3734 - CA U.S.Datanet: 617-868-2965 - MA │
│ Chat-Line: 403-299-0180 - CANADA Trinity BBS: 44-392-410210 - UK │
│ JIX BBS: 81-6-351-6074 - JAPAN World Data : 886-2931-3045 - TAIWAN │
│---------- Official Distribution Sites U.S. & International-----------------│
│ AL AR AZ ** SWEDEN **│
│ CA CO CT ████▄▄▄▄▄▄ ██▄ AUTRALIA │
│ FL GA HI ███████████████████████████▄ ▄▄██▀ CANADA │
│ IA ID IL ██████████████████████████████▄▄▄▄ ▄█████ HOLLAND │
│ IN KS KY ▄█████████████████████████████████▄ ▄██ ▄▄██████▀ JAPAN │
│ LA MA MD ████████ ▄▄▄█ ▄▄▄█ ▄▄▄█ ▄▄▄█ ██▀▄██ ████ ▄██████ LUXEMBOURG │
│ MI MN MO ████████ ▀▀██ ▀▀██ ▀▀██ ▀▀██ ▀▄█████████▄███████ NEW ZEALAND│
│ MS NC NE ████████ ████ ████ ████ ████ █▄▀████████████████ NORWAY │
│ NH NJ NM ████████▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄█▄███▄███████████████ PORTUGAL │
│ NV NY OH ███████▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██████████████▀ SWITZERLAND│
│ OK OR PA ████████████████████████████████████████████▀ TAIWAN │
│ SC TN TX ▀████████████████████████████████████████▀ UNITED KINGDOM │
│ UT VA WA ▀▀▀███████████████████████████████████ UNITED STATES │
│ WI WV ▀▀▀███████████████████████████████▄ WEST INDIES │
│ ------------------------- ▀████████████████ ▀▀ ▀██ SCOTLAND │
│ 41 States & WE'RE ▀▀ ▀█████▀ ▀▀ ███ ---------------- │
│ 15 Countries FREE ! ███ ▀██ PC PURSUIT @ │
│ -------------------------------------------------------- d/CALAN │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ OVER │
│───────────────────────────┐ 1 MILLION ┌──────────────────────────│
│ Northridge.: 818/886-0872 │ CALLS LOGGED! │ Culver City: 213/558-0145│
│ N Hollywood: 818/505-9848 │ ------------- │ Compton....: 213/532-1700│
│ Glendale...: 818/507-1365 │ │ Montebello.: 213/722-2207│
│ Agoura: 818/889-2546 ╔════╧═════════════════════╧════╗ Simi..: 805/520-7323│
│ ║ ██ █ █████▄ █████▄ ██████ ║ │
│ 9600 v.32 Dual Stnd. ║ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ▀ ║ No Sign-Up Fees │
│ (818) 886-1397 ║ ██ ██ ██▄▄█▀ ██▄▄█▀ ██▄▄▄ ║ │
│ ║ ████ ██▀▀█▄ ██▀▀█▄ ██ ║ FREE TRIAL │
│ PC Pursuit: D/CAGLE ║ ██ █ ██ ██ ██ ██ ▄ ██ ║ ~~~~~~~~~~ │
│ (818) 994-0442 ║ ██ █ ██████ ██████ ██████ ║ Adults 21+ Only │
│──────────────────────╢ LOS ANGELES ╟─────────────────────│
│ Over 10,000 IBM Files║ ▄▄▄ ▄▄▄ ▄ ▄▄▄ ▄ ▄ ▄▄▄ ▄▄▄ ║ Monthly Parties │
│ Over 2,500 Mac Files ║ █ █ █ █ █▄ █ █ █ ▀ ║ Catnet BBS Network │
│ Over 1,000 Photos ║ ▄▄█ ███ █ █ ██▄█ █▄▄ █▄▄ ║ Online Publications │
│ Over 1,400 Clip Art ║ █ █ █ █ █ ██ █ █ ║ Over 2,000 calls/day│
│ 100s Windows 3 Files ║ ▄▄█ █▄▄ █▄▄ ▄█▄ █ █ █▄▄ █▄█ ║ *Wild Group Chats!* │
│ MUCH MORE! ╚════╤═════════════════════╤════╝ Eeeeks in the DB! │
│───────────────────────────┘ * *--------------* *└──────────────────────────│
│* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * CALL US TODAY! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *│
│ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *--------------* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "Okay, we hope this theory is true. Now for the hard part. What type │
│ of illusion can you create for the others?" │
│ │
│ "I have no ideas," I replied, "Have you?" │
│ │
│ "No," he said flatly. │
│ │
│ I sat down next to him again. I felt frustration and for the first │
│ time tonight desperation. Discour- agement was overtaking me. I sat │
│ quietly, tapping my fingers on my knee, thinking, but not getting any │
│ ideas. │
│ │
│ "I really think we need to test this theory," Thomas said again. │
│ │
│ "How?" I challenged. │
│ │
│ "I don't know. But if we can't test it how can we try it on the │
│ others? No scientist tries an experiment on a human first. How can │
│ we?" │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "But that's different. If we don't test it on them, then they are │
│ dead, they are probably dead anyway. Or worse, locked in a dimensional │
│ time zone which they do not belong. His," I motioned angrily towards │
│ the house above, "own private menagerie of people." │
│ │
│ "You look exhausted Carol," Thomas said trying to comfort me. │
│ │
│ I did not say anything to him, I just glanced at him. Instead of │
│ comfort, it caused me some irritation. Of course I looked exhausted, │
│ look what we've been through tonight. And God it isn't over yet. I │
│ did not say this to Thomas, for I knew his intentions were warm, but │
│ bad timing. │
│ │
│ I shot up from my seated position, as if lightening had just struck me. │
│ Thomas looked at me and said, "What? What is it?" │
│ │
│ "God it is so easy Thomas. So easy." │
│ │
│ "What is? Come on what are you thinking?" │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "Time. Time is the answer. We have to convince the others something │
│ about time." │
│ │
│ "I don't follow." │
│ │
│ "Wait a minute. Let me think this out in detail." │
│ │
│ We both stood motionless now. Thomas waiting patiently while I tried │
│ to figure out the usefulness of the thoughts running through my brain. │
│ After some deliberation, I became committed to my idea. │
│ │
│ "Time is the answer to our dilemma. What is more relative than time? │
│ Nothing. And hour can pass like a minute or conversely like a │
│ lifetime. It's all relative. It is also one thing involved here that │
│ is man made. Nature gave us the sunrise and sunset, light of day and │
│ dark of night, man gave us numbers to apply to this. Time in itself is │
│ not a reality. So we, or I, must convince these people that it is │
│ dawn. Dawn is the time limit we told them we had. I will convince │
│ them we came back here to the house and spoke with Anna once again. │
│ She told us the ordeal would be over at dawn and they would be returned │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ to our dimension and our reality. If they accept this, then they │
│ should return now." │
│ │
│ "Great idea," Thomas stood and hugged me. "I think it will work. │
│ While you are doing that, I'll be dealing with the entity of the house │
│ and try to draw attention away from your activities." He stood quiet │
│ for a moment, then with great hesitation said to me, "We have a │
│ problem. I know Dr. Bentley wears a watch. Some of the others surely │
│ wear watches. How do we convince them the time displayed on their │
│ watches, any of their watches, is wrong?" │
│ │
│ "That is the easiest problem we have. All of their watches should be │
│ approximately the same time. I'll convince them their watches are │
│ still functioning, but in a different time element because of the │
│ dimensional zone." │
│ │
│ "Good idea. Now how do they get back from the dimension they are being │
│ held?" │
│ │
│ "You had to ask," I sat back down, disgusted, not with Thomas because │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ he thought of this, but with myself. I should have realized. Thomas │
│ sat down beside me and took my hand. │
│ │
│ "Sorry," he said as he patted my hand. We sat silently, hand in hand, │
│ waiting for a revelation. │
│ │
│ "Wait a minute," Thomas squealed with excitement. "How did I get out?" │
│ │
│ "What do you mean, how?" │
│ │
│ "How did I get out? Think?" │
│ │
│ "I threw you a rope, you pulled and I pulled and bang you were out." │
│ │
│ "No, remember you looked for an opening first." │
│ │
│ "The door. The dimensional door. Of course. It must be open, or how │
│ could we hear these people. One thing I noticed about the ballroom, │
│ when I tried to enter the room earlier this evening, it was like │
│ hitting a stone wall. I could not move forward, or to the side. That │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ was not true with the door in the bungalow. I had total movement from │
│ either side, and some forward, in one area." │
│ │
│ "The door is open. It has never been closed. It takes time for him to │
│ close the door, probably because these people are of this time reality, │
│ that is why dawn is our deadline. If we can get them through the │
│ door..." │
│ │
│ "Then they should be safe." I interrupted. │
│ │
│ "Right. Let's do it Carol, its now or never. What's the time?" │
│ │
│ I glanced at my watch. It was dark but there was enough light to see │
│ that it was approximately 4:35 a.m. I told Thomas what I thought it │
│ was, then he looked at my watch as well for verification. │
│ │
│ "Okay. I'll head up the stairs, you head back to the hotel. Start as │
│ soon as you get there. If I reach the house after you, it shouldn't be │
│ much after." │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "Hold it. Do you think he can sense a change in the energies of these │
│ people? If I start before you, he may ignore you just to maintain his │
│ energies and powers on them." │
│ │
│ "You're right. But I don't have a watch. So how can we do this?" │
│ │
│ "You are sure Dr. Bentley was wearing his?" │
│ │
│ "Yes I'm positive. I remember because I looked at it just before you │
│ helped me through the door." │
│ │
│ "Okay, then you'll have to take mine. Now how long do you think it │
│ will take you to get to the top of the stairs and start to engage him │
│ into conversation?" │
│ │
│ "Probably twenty minutes." │
│ │
│ "Thomas you have to be sure. If you say twenty minutes then it must be │
│ twenty minutes. And remember he had left the porch area the last time │
│ we were there." │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ He put his hand to his face and dragged it over his eyes. "I know." He │
│ looked up the flight of stairs he was about to climb, then looked back │
│ at me. │
│ │
│ "Start at 5:05. I'll be there by five after five." │
│ │
│ "Okay, I can start a few minutes after that. You have to have him │
│ occupied before I start. It will take me about ten minutes to get back │
│ to the bungalow. I'll wait, stall for time, until you have enough time │
│ to get to him." │
│ │
│ Thomas leaned over and kissed my cheek, winked at me, "Good luck, luv." │
│ │
│ "You too, luv," I smiled at him. I started to move down the stairs and │
│ stopped. "Thomas, wait." He was not that many steps away from me, he │
│ stopped and turned back toward me. │
│ │
│ "What's the problem?" │
│ continued next week │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ A Team Eeeek serial: Dawning of an Age Part 15 June 1, 1993 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ A Calm Discussion │
│ │
│ The ChairWoman slammed her large fist on the table and roared. "Stop! │
│ Now! This bickering is pointless!" │
│ │
│ "Pointless? (Crunch!) What else is relevant?" │
│ │
│ "I believe Ms. Gabriel means that we should come to some decision," the │
│ boss said quietly. From her seat near the head of the Team Eeeek │
│ conference table, she looked lost, alone, even though surrounded by her │
│ closest friends. That sight by itself evoked fear into the team members. │
│ │
│ "I move that Mr. Carpenter be removed from the room (Crunch)!" │
│ │
│ "I move that he participate in the proceedings!" Mad Mind countered. │
│ │
│ "I concur," said the Baron. "I think we should ascertain the facts before │
│ we reach any decisions." │
│ │
│ The room went silent. All eyes down. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ A Team Eeeek serial: Dawning of an Age Part 15 June 1, 1993 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "WELL?" Gabriel bellowed at the technician. "Are you going to talk to us │
│ or what?" │
│ │
│ But Carpenter remained silent. │
│ │
│ "Get him out of here," Crunchie mumbled. │
│ │
│ "Quiet!" replied the ChairWoman. "He's a member of this team and he'll │
│ receive due respect until we decide otherwise." │
│ │
│ "Let's backtrack this mess," Bee suggested. "Didn't you say it was │
│ Hymie's logs that had been removed from the records." │
│ │
│ "That is correct," the ChairWoman admitted. │
│ │
│ "Were any other entries altered?" asked Demi. │
│ │
│ "Apparently not." │
│ │
│ "Were you able to determine the content of the affected entries?" Charity │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ A Team Eeeek serial: Dawning of an Age Part 15 June 1, 1993 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ asked. │
│ │
│ The ChairWoman slowly lifted her head and peered across the table to the │
│ team's physicist. In a softly inquiring voice, she said, "Neal?" │
│ │
│ All eyes went to the man's face. It was then that the team members │
│ realized he had yet to say anything. They all knew that Carpenter and │
│ Neal were the best of friends. What would the genius have to say that │
│ would condemn the technician. │
│ │
│ Neal finally cleared his throat and began to speak. │
│ │
│ "We were able to reconstruct the files within a .05 degree of accuracy. │
│ They were almost exclusively execution commands." │
│ │
│ "How on earth did you do that?" Bee wondered admiringly. Even under the │
│ sad circumstances, the physicist couldn't stifle a rueful smile of pride. │
│ "All entries leave shadows," he explained. "All we had to do was to │
│ carefully lift the layers." │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ A Team Eeeek serial: Dawning of an Age Part 15 June 1, 1993 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The team members took note of Neal's use of the plural "we" pronoun when │
│ the accomplishment had clearly been his. It was not like any member to │
│ disavow her or his expertise. Apparently Neal wasn't proud of his │
│ involvement in this affair. │
│ │
│ "That sounds impossible," Razor said. │
│ │
│ Neal tossed his head. "A little trick I taught the CIA," he explained. │
│ │
│ "Where does this leave us?" Uni asked. As she looked around the table, │
│ she realized that the Team Eeeek management had gone suddenly quiet, as │
│ if leaving the deliberations up to the staff. The other team members │
│ noticed it also. │
│ │
│ The Baron leaned forward and began to apply his infamous logic to the │
│ problem. "All right, then. Mr. Carpenter admits to erasing Mr. │
│ Krausmeyer's entries. But he declines to mention why. Which leaves the │
│ deductions up to us. Therefore, what exactly did he erase?" │
│ │
│ "Computer commands," someone said. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ A Team Eeeek serial: Dawning of an Age Part 15 June 1, 1993 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "Why on earth would he do that?" │
│ │
│ "Must have been something in them he didn't want us to find." │
│ │
│ "Very well. And what, pray tell, would that be?" │
│ │
│ From her perch of silence the boss could feel the team coming alive. This │
│ is what she loved, the joining of superior minds onto a single task. And │
│ none had ever achieved such intellectual bonding as the individuals of │
│ Team Eeeek. She lifted her eyes and watched with pride as the team - her │
│ team - went through its paces one last time. And this WOULD BE the last │
│ time; once Carpenter left, as obviously he must, the team would be no │
│ more. Not like this. It would inevitably drift apart. │
│ │
│ The boss took them in, each and every one. She memorized their │
│ expressions, their mannerisms. Then she memorized the moment, what should │
│ have been their finest hour. │
│ │
│ She planned to miss these people; she planned to miss them for a long │
│ time. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ A Team Eeeek serial: Dawning of an Age Part 15 June 1, 1993 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "Carpenter...didn't...want us to find out... what Hymie had done?" Demi │
│ suggested. │
│ │
│ "Possibly," the Baron agreed. "And what, specifically, had the little one │
│ accomplished?" │
│ │
│ Once again the eyes turned to Neal; he was the one who knew. After │
│ avoiding their hard stares beyond endurance, the physicist said, "Near as │
│ I can deduce, Hymie was prowling around in the archives..." │
│ │
│ "So?" │
│ │
│ "So, he tripped over a few old programs..." │
│ │
│ "Such as?" an exasperated Baron asked for the whole team. │
│ │
│ "Such as an automatic-execute program that was designed to put a computer │
│ through a series of functions during personnel off-hours, such as at │
│ night. The purpose being to derive the most computer output while cutting │
│ expenses." │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ A Team Eeeek serial: Dawning of an Age Part 15 June 1, 1993 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Neal let this information set in. │
│ "So Hymie activated this obviously archaic software program. What did │
│ the program tell his computer to do?" │
│ Neal, choosing his words carefully, said, "The program was linked into │
│ the main frame. Therefore it activated the entire loop. From there," Neal │
│ sighed, not wanting to go on, "it told the most powerful computer on │
│ earth to..." │
│ │
│ "TO SEND MAIL PACKETS!" Bee shouted. "THAT LITTLE IDIOT SHIPPED MY │
│ │
│ PROGRAM TO EVERY COMPANY ON THE NETWORK!!!" │
│ │
│ Once said, the situation became obvious; the whole thing. Where Bee's │
│ software had gone, how it got there and who found out about it first. │
│ "I'LL KILL HIM!" Bee roared lunging for the team's smallest member. "I'LL │
│ STRANGLE HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!" │
│ Bodies fell all over one another as team member jumped on team member as │
│ a half dozen pair of hands tried to pull Bee's vice-like fingers from │
│ under the purple face of Hymie Krausmeyer. │
│ To be continued │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ █▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█ │
│ ▀█▀▀▀▀▀▀█ The W-Eeeek-ly News (tm) █▀▀▀▀▀▀█▀ │
│ ▀▄ █ (c) 1993 Eeeek Publishing Co. All Rights Reserved! █ ▄▀ │
│ ▄▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▄ │
│ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ May 1993 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ │
│ ┌──────────────────────────┐ ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐│
│ │ ██▄ █ █▀▀ █ █ █▀▀ 25¢├┐ │ PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ││
│ │ █ █ █ █▀ █ ▄ █ ▀▀█ --- ││ │ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED! ││
│ │ █ ▀██ █▄▄ ██▀██ ▄▄█ ----││ └───────────────────────────────────────────┘│
│ │ ─────────────────── ┌──┐ ││ This publication is protected under the │
│ │ === === === === === │ │ ││ Copyright laws of the United States. No │
│ │ === === === === === └──┘ ││ Part of this magazine may be reproduced │
│ │ === === === === === ~~~~ ││ in any form, by any means, nor included │
│ └─┬────────────────────────┘│ in any file collection, without express │
├───┴─────────────────────────┴──────────┐ written publisher's permission │
│████████ ██ ██ ██ ██ │ and approval. NO MONIES MAY BE │
│ ██ ██ ██ ████ ██ │ CHARGED FOR EEEEK BITS! Eeeek │
│ ██HE ██ ▄ ██EEEEK!LY ██ ██ ██EWS! │ BITS! & T.W.N. ARE NOT PUBLIC- │
│ ██ ██ ███ ██ ██ ████ │ DOMAIN NOR SHAREWARE MATERIAL! │
│ ██ ▀███▀███▀ ██ ██ │ Contact Publishers at: │
├────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
│ Eeeek Publishing - P.O.Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ 'Clinton Sits While Taxpayers Get Clipped,' Taxpayer Group Says │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The average family will pay $266.50 more in taxes each year if the Clinton │
│ admin is successful in attempt to pass a massive tax on energy. However, │
│ this seems a more reasonable expense if one realizes this is only 1.33 │
│ haircuts, using the Bill Clinton Haircut Standard. The Btu energy tax would│
│ take $71 billion out of the pockets of Americans over five years...or only │
│ 355 million Bill Clinton haircuts. "The president's total request for some │
│ $300 billion in tax increases over the next 5 yrs strikes some American │
│ taxpayers as excessive. But, for others, the Clinton tax hike is less daun-│
│ ting if one thinks of it not in the number of dollars it will cost the tax │
│ payers but rather in the number of haircuts Bill Clinton could buy with │
│ this money. The total tax bill would buy 1.5 billion haircuts for the pres-│
│ ident, enough to keep him well groomed for a long time," Grover Norquist, │
│ president of Americans for Tax Reform Fnd'n, said. Clinton has proposed, as│
│ part of the largest tax increase in the nation's history, a broad-based │
│ energy tax that will hit all taxpayers. The president tells Americans not │
│ to worry. From perspective of one who gets $200 haircuts, he may be right. │
│ As a service, here's an analysis of the Clinton energy tax per household & │
│ per capita in each state - as measured by the Clinton haircut standard. The│
│ CHS is the haircuts, or parts of haircuts, Clinton can buy for what you'll │
│ be paying in increased taxes if his energy tax is enacted. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ STATE BTU TAX HOUSEHOLD COST BTU TAX PER CAPITA COST │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Alabama $286.20 1.431 CHS $105.50 .527 CHS │
│ Alaska 844.40 4.222 280.00 1.4 │
│ Arizona 183.70 .918 67.00 .335 │
│ Arkansas 240.70 1.203 90.40 .452 │
│ California 193.10 .965 66.00 .33 │
│ Colorado 195.40 .977 74.20 .371 │
│ Connecticut 163.30 .816 61.10 .305 │
│ Delaware 261.50 1.307 95.00 .475 │
│ D.C. 186.10 .930 77.80 .389 │
│ Florida 163.50 .817 63.20 .316 │
│ Georgia 240.40 1.202 85.90 .429 │
│ Hawaii 230.50 1.152 72.30 .361 │
│ Idaho 283.40 1.417 98.50 .492 │
│ Illinois 230.80 1.154 84.00 .42 │
│ Indiana 324.40 1.622 119.40 .597 │
│ Iowa 231.90 1.159 88.30 .441 │
│ Kansas 299.20 1.496 113.30 .566 │
│ Kentucky 289.10 1.445 107.40 .537 │
│ Louisiana 639.50 3.197 225.50 1.127 │
│ Maine 214.30 1.071 80.70 .403 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ STATE BTU TAX HOUSEHOLD COST BTU TAX PER CAPITA COST │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Maryland 190.50 .952 68.60 .343 │
│ Massachusetts 163.60 .818 61.40 .307 │
│ Michigan 219.40 1.097 80.10 .400 │
│ Minnesota 219.40 1.097 81.60 .408 │
│ Mississippi 282.00 1.41 99.10 .495 │
│ Missouri 206.50 1.032 78.50 .392 │
│ Montana 303.20 1.516 114.80 .574 │
│ Nebraska 231.50 1.157 87.00 .435 │
│ Nevada 230.50 1.152 83.70 .418 │
│ New Hampshire 162.20 .811 60.30 .301 │
│ New Jersey 221.90 1.109 79.90 .399 │
│ New Mexico 301.70 1.508 105.80 .529 │
│ New York 148.10 .740 54.50 .272 │
│ N. Carolina 212.30 1.061 79.30 .396 │
│ N. Dakota 349.20 1.746 132.50 .662 │
│ oHIO 248.20 1.241 92.80 .464 │
│ Oklahoma 307.60 1.538 116.90 .584 │
│ Oregon 230.80 1.154 87.10 .435 │
│ Pennsylvania 217.90 1.089 81.90 .409 │
│ Rhode Island 141.40 .707 53.20 .266 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ STATE BTU TAX HOUSEHOLD COST BTU TAX PER CAPITA COST │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ S. Carolina 260.40 1.302 92.00 .460 │
│ S. Dakota 215.70 1.078 79.50 .397 │
│ Tennessee 259.40 1.297 97.10 .485 │
│ Texas 442.80 2.214 154.90 .774 │
│ Utah 277.40 1.387 84.20 .421 │
│ Vermont 164.60 .823 61.30 .306 │
│ Virginia 219.90 1.099 80.20 .401 │
│ Washington 286.30 1.431 106.80 .534 │
│ W. Virginia 321.10 1.605 122.90 .614 │
│ Wisconsin 205.60 1.028 75.60 .378 │
│ Wyoming 646.50 3.232 237.50 1.187 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Eeeek BYTES! (tm) S A V E N O W ! That's right. Call │
│ Technical Services █▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀█ Eeeek BYTES! Techs │
│ ────────────────── ▄ ▄▄█▄▄ ▀▀▀▄ █▀▀▀ OFF!! ▄ on any service of │
│ Call: 310-462-4742 ▀ █▄█▄▄ ▄▄▀ ▀▄▄ ─────── ▀ $75 or more, & we │
│ At beeps, type in █ █ █ █ █ █▀█ █▀█ █ will give you $25 │
│ your phone number ▄ ▀▀█▀▀ ▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ ▀ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ ▄ off the total cost. │
│ & press the # key. ▀ ANY Service Call of $75 + ▀ │
│ We'll call you back █▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄█ OFFER EXPIRES 7/1/93│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ INS Terminates "Green Card" Replacement Program │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ US Newswire: The Immigration & Naturalization Service has │
│ terminated its replacement program for I-151 alien ID cards, │
│ commonly known as "green cards," as directed by US District │
│ Court for the Eastern District of CA, INS will no longer accept │
│ applications to replace a card unless it is for specific reasons │
│ described in regulations, which are not subject to the court │
│ order. These include: to replace a lost or mutilated card, to │
│ change a name (such as after marriage), or to correct a card │
│ that contains errors. The court also ordered INS to refund the │
│ $70 charged for replacement of cards under the program. Refund │
│ information will be announced when the refund procedure is │
│ determined. INS launched the program to replace old green │
│ cards, generally those issued before 1978, with more secure ones │
│ that include the owner's fingerprint & signature. Old cards not │
│ containing those elements were to expire on Aug. 1. Persons │
│ who have already obtained a card under the replacement program │
│ should retain both old & new cards until further notice. │
│ Applications recently accepted will be returned to the │
│ applicants, along with a notice that the program has been │
│ terminated by a court order. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ (c)1993 Eeeek Publishing Company -Taghadossi/Black. Eeeek Publishing │
│ & US Datanet are mutual distributors of Eeeek BITS! & DCN! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ BEYOND ETERNITY BBS: 310-371-3734 (12-9600) 310-370-9464 (3-2400) │
│ Contact the #5 Account, The Editor, for info, ad rates etc. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ EEEEK PUBLISHING COMPANY P.O. Box # 331, Manhattan Beach CA 90266 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The following material is COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL! You may NOT Change or │
│ alter it in ANY manner without violating both Federal & International │
│ Copyright laws! You may NOT upload it to any BBS on a regular basis │
│ without the express written permission of the Publishers. Eeeek BITS! │
│ is NOT Public Domain or Shareware material! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Eeeek BITS! is FREE, but you MUST REGISTER to display it on your BBS! │
│ In order to Register: Call Beyond Eternity at the # above & fill out │
│ "O" at the main menu, OR EAST COAST CALLERS MAY CALL OUR EAST-COAST │
│ DISTRIBUTOR, U.S. Datanet at (617)-868-2965. OR you may write us via │
│ US Mail, include your: BBS NAME, PHONE, APPX # OF USERS, # OF LINES, │
│ MAX BAUD, STORAGE CAPACITY, SYSOP REAL NAME, PHONE, ADDRESS, SOFTWARE │
│ RUNNING, WHERE YOU SAW & WHERE YOU'LL RETRIEVE EEEEK BITS! You May │
│ also register for Datanet Computer News (ALSO FREE) in these ways. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘